and your eyes seeing happiness;
feminism. bbc radio 4. history. zombies run. les misérables.
formerly: halfway-outofthedark
| goodreads | twitter | ao3 | may your ka live,
and may you achieve millions of years,
you who love thebes,
sitting with your face to the north wind,
and your eyes seeing happiness.
-- the wishing cup of tutankhamun
“And the programme was a Pozzitive production for the BBCCCCCCCC!!!”
“Sandi and me sitting on Jeremy’s lap. He loves it.”
These things are really annoying. These things should be punishable by death.
Things that would happen if Radio 4 took over the world.
“News Quiz Panto a hoot. This is slightly out of focus but captures moment Susan Calman lost it beautifully.”
Another from Corrie Corfield :)
The wonderfulness that is Susan Calman.
Sandi: Susan, what’s a cause of jubilation this weekend?
Susan: It’s the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee, well done ma’am, people are excited-
Sandi: Yeah, that wasn’t the answer I was looking for.
Susan: Um, well, Queen…
Sandi: What else is a cause of jubilation this weekend?
Susan: What else is a cause of jubilation? What else is a cause of jubilation?
Sandi: Are you just going to keep repeating it, or…?
Susan: …
Sandi: Anything else happening this weekend?
Susan: I’m getting married!
Sandi: Yes!
General cheering and applause. Music (The Wedding March?) plays.
Sandi: OK, so, er, because you didn’t have a hen party, we thought that we would have it on air, so everybody at home, I need to tell you that everyone on the panel are now wearing pink fluffy hen party things. We’ve got a little veil for Susan.
Susan: I just really must keep remembering it’s happening!
Susan: Is Jeremy the stripper?
Sandi: My present to you, Susan, is that Jeremy is not the stripper.
— Two points!
Jeremy you have to stop, because I’m going to die.
Lampposts soon’ll have little meters in: you’ll put 5p in, and then it’ll give you just enough light to get to the next one. ‘Cause why should I pay for someone else’s light? I was indoors on the toilet, it’s not fair! Everything, the fire brigade: pay-per-gasp. I’m not paying for the fire brigade, I’m not on fire! I didn’t ask to be carried out of a window! Everything. These people are like that about everything. “Look at all the money that gets wasted on guide dogs. I can’t climb a tree, nobody buys me a gibbon!
As a census enumerator in the 1981 census, we received in my area this response to question twelve, “Occupation?”. The reply was, “I am a sculptor of stone lions”. To the next question, “Please describe the nature of work done”, the responder wrote: “I chip away all the bits of stone that are not lion”.
“That’s why you’re here, Susan, for balance.”
